Sunday, February 2, 2014

Superbowl Sunday: The BigBrotherVladamir Blog

Everyone knows today is the Superbowl, but many don't know the significance of the event. In this very special BBVB, we will discuss sed significance.

The Superbowl is a time of joy and merriment for Billions around the world as they sit down and devour over 11 Million pizzas today alone, and that's just from Dominos Pizza, one of the worst pizza places, so you can assume there are at least 20 Billion pizzas eaten total on Superbowl Sunday, very few of which are eaten by impoverished countries who continue to starve to death throughout the year. Its a real issue, open your eyes.

Pizza has always been the driving force behind the big game and is the main driving force motivating each team to win. Throughout the years, Superbowl coaches have promised their teams if they won the big game, they would go out for pizza and to this day, the Superbowl remains the most competitive game of any sport. Football players, you see must maintain a very strict eating regimen as per their contracts, but one exception exists in the event that they win the Superbowl they are each allowed 4 slices or 6 square slices of pizza after the game. You can feel the joy of the winning team feeling the glory of being able to devour those empty carbs and fatty cheese once the final seconds count down and empathise with the despair of the losing team who must eat their mung beans and long grain wild rice.

Not much is known about the winning players selection of pizza, but we can assume Peyton Manning will chose Papa John's and Russell Wilson will chose Mama's Pizza, just to be different than Peyton. While we all enjoy a good slice of pizza, for some it is worth sustaining lifelong injuries, only to be yelled at by Billions of fans to "shake it off pussy".

Happy Superbowl and may the hungriest team win ;)

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