Saturday, January 11, 2014

Top 5 Most Useless TV Show Characters: The BigBrotherVladamir Saturday Blog

Hey! This blog is late because of Football, but you're up anyway now so still counts as Saturday.

ANYWAYS, here are the top 5 most useless TV show characters.

1&2. Scooby Doo and Shaggy: Scooby Doo

Scooby Doo is 1/5th of a mystery solving team, he does the part where he eats snacks with his equally useless buddy Shaggy and try not to inconvenience the rest of the team by breaking shit and costing extra gas money with their dead weight. With no marketable skills, these two were included as part of a detective team in accordance affirmative action, Scooby being a dog and Shaggy being "special".

3. Pinky: Pinky and The Brain

Pinky is a dimwitted mouse, ironically paired up with a genius mouse in the hopes of taking over the world. In many episodes he attempts to assist his partner with his world domination plans but always succumbs to his own mindless self indulgence. More ironic still, The Brain having been thwarted on every occasion by Pinky's incompetence at every task he is given still doesn't see the obvious solution in snapping Pinky's neck and taking over the world uncontested.

4. Gilligan: Gilligan's Island
The boat crashed on an island and they name it after the dim witted boob who does nothing to help them get off the island. In this series the 7 of them get stuck on an island and make an attempt to escape. In each of their 98 attempts over 3 years, none has succeeded due entirely to Gilligan who appropriately "Gilligans" it up every time. Under the watchful supervision of a sea skipper, millionaire, professor and 3 resourceful women, Gilligan fouls every well planned attempt the others make. Their unfounded encouragement of his involvement is always baffling.

5.  Princess Peach: Super Mario Bros. 

Now we all know princesses are inherently useless, but this one exists only to become captured and need saving. In addition to having no responsibility within the monarchy, Princess Peach captured in dark caves by the same turtle time and time again needing to be rescued by hardworking Italian plumbers who have to turn down paid work to save her. Once she is saved she goes back to doing nothing and waits for the turtle to come and kidnap her again. I couldn't think of a more useless person.

This has been the undisputed 5 most useless TV show characters. 
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